"I'm Sorry That Is Just Company Policy"

How many times have you wanted to ring the neck of the doucher, either over the phone or over the counter, that tells you this statement? Guilty I am, but I am also torn. You see it isn't my desire to ruin your trip, in a rental car, it is my company's duty.

I really didn't do it, I can see why you're pissed, but I didn't have anything to do with it.  Now, where I work, if you choose to use a debit card, I have to (HAVE TO) run a credit check.  I really don't even do anything, the computer recognizes the card swiped as a debit card issued from a bank.  This is your personal bank, and all of your credit information resides there as well.

My job, while you are chatting about how great your vacation is going to be, is to carry on the conversation until I can find a break in your exciting itinerary to tell you devastating news.  Do you know how hard it is to do that?!  Do you think that I take part in any joy from this? The answer is a firm, "hell no!"  I would much rather be able to rent you the vehicle rather than get told how much of a piece of shit I am.  I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! All I did was deliver a company policy statement, swiped a card and crossed my fingers it would go through because I am not a huge fan of being berated.  I didn't make an announcement on your behalf, "Hey everybody, guess who has had trouble in the past paying bills/ made a major purchase/ been in a divorce/ lost their job?" The point is, all I did was deliver the bad news I never wanted to (and I have to do it nine times a day, and I get cussed out nine times a day.)

The person regurgitating the statement, "I'm sorry that is just company policy," is really trying to say, "I hate my job, so please don't yell at me about it."  I'm on your side! Let's take this Mother F***** down, together!

Break Time!

I wanted to pause this monotonous repetition of information, on the do's and don't's of car renting, and share some very exciting news.

I recently went to Florida for spring break.  My girlfriend has been doing her internship at Disney World in Orlando. It was a great opportunity to see her as it has been at least two months since the last time I saw her.

Her older Brother and I  drove down.  We got into all the Disney parks for free. It was something I wanted to see, as I was not fortunate enough as a child to see what Disney was all about.  So it was somewhat cathartic for me.

We also went to Cocoa Beach, which was awesome, as it was the first time I have ever felt the ocean's waters. This was all good and well, but I had a big surprise for my girlfriend.  Once at the beach I retrieved the lump that had been residing in my pocket for many days, just waiting for the right moment.  And there at the beach, right in the beautiful yet frigid waters of the Atlantic Ocean, I dropped a knee and proposed to my lovely Miss Jeana.

SHE SAID YES!

That is all.

Employee Loyalty

I have people that come in and want to complain about a minute detail in the hopes that I will reimburse them.  The answer is rarely ever. The most joy I get from this is when a customer threatens their business. This means that they are going to leave now. I no longer have to sit and pretend as if I care that the car smelled like smoke, but you waited until you got back from your seven day trip to let us know. I would rather you left and went to another company, because the company I work for owns many other car rental companies. But you don't know this because you don't read. Also, if you are going to threaten your business, make sure the guy behind the counter doesn't get paid minimum wage. The guy who gets paid minimum wage doesn't care about your problems, he only cares about making his rent this month.  You're already pissed off at him, so he knows he will not be making his money off of you. He needs you out of the store so he can make money off of other people.

It is best to just leave the store and not come back quietly, because you only are making yourself look like a fool. It gives us something to talk about after you leave. We enjoy it, trust me.

Make Nice

As a salesperson I have to make sure to do my job by the book.  However, there are a few customers, that are regulars and know me by name.  These folks always get my fullest attention, and I let them know the ins and outs of the car rental business.  I will also always do the best I can to give them the better deal.  If I've got a better car on the lot, I will do my best to put them in it.  Just based on the fact that they give me respect even though my job is a menial one.  The customer that walks in with his phone glued to his ear, I will do my best to squeeze every dollar out of his inattentive ass.  I don't like "Inattentive Steve," or whatever his name is, and I will not do certain things that i could to save him money.  His rental will be much more expensive than most based on his lack of respect.  So, the message today is, make a new friend before you spend a lot of money with any company, you'll always come out on top.  When you befriend someone, they feel guilty for sticking it to you, because you're not just another person walking through the door.  It's because we (your salesperson) knows you and vice versa.