Customer Service NoNo's

My Fiancée and I were shopping for a computer for her.  Her's had had its time and it was on the fritz.  It was Black Friday of last year, and I thought it would be fun to get in the mix of all the frenzy and madness that ensues. We had a blast, although we had nothing in mind to purchase other than a computer.  I knew what we were looking for as far as the computers performance, and what brands were reliable.  We were only looking for a deal on something that fit into those guidelines.  After we left the craziness that Best Buy is on Black Friday empty handed, we headed for Office Depot.  A little bird told us of some good buys on laptop PC's there.  It was approaching 6 a.m. at this time, the sun was coming up.  We thought that it was going to be a madhouse over at the ole Office Depot, so I stepped on the accelerator accordingly.  I swung the Stealth Bomber, as I like to call it, into a parking space and we rushed into the store.  It was DEAD in Office Depot, DEAD! No one, not one customer was in there!  So naturally we were immediately greeted by an excited salesperson.  We told the gentleman we were just looking as we now knew we had all the time in the world.  Once we made it over to the computers, he popped his dumb head up again, "Can I help you guys decide on anything?"  To which I replied, "No thanks there fella, we're just looking."  My fiancée, started to mess around with a computer she liked, and I was looking over the specs, when once again this f****** guy comes bee-boppin up again.  He asked me, "Can I help..." This time I cut him off mid sentence, "Yeah, do you have anymore of these left?"  This bought us more time while my Beloved and I deliberated on which of these laptops would best suit her needs.  He came back stating that he had three left, but we better act fast.  I looked around and still noticed that NO ONE was in the store and this guy was an idiot.  So I asked him to find out about the computer we really wanted.  He skipped away in his excitement... like a moron.  We were down to discussing ancillary products. i.e. Coverage, and extended warranties.  Salespeople give you a long-winded spiel so that way it's harder to say no immediately.  I knew the game, and I said, "I'd like to help you out with your commission and all, but those products and services aren't going to be necessary."  His head dropped a little and he said that the computer was waiting at the register for us.  Now the cashier lady is where we had the most trouble.  She inquired about if we were interested in the extra products and services as well, and I let her down easy too, but I was met with a bit of a different rebuttal.  She said I really hope nothing happens to you guys with this computer.  I agreed with her until she said, "I hope you guys don't fall in the parking lot with this brand new computer."  To which I thought to myself, "Fuck you lady."  The point of the story is, even though it is an established business, employees may be in fact socially challenged.  I am really glad we didn't succumb to the guilt we had been given by these pathetic salespeople.  

"I'm Sorry That Is Just Company Policy"

How many times have you wanted to ring the neck of the doucher, either over the phone or over the counter, that tells you this statement? Guilty I am, but I am also torn. You see it isn't my desire to ruin your trip, in a rental car, it is my company's duty.

I really didn't do it, I can see why you're pissed, but I didn't have anything to do with it.  Now, where I work, if you choose to use a debit card, I have to (HAVE TO) run a credit check.  I really don't even do anything, the computer recognizes the card swiped as a debit card issued from a bank.  This is your personal bank, and all of your credit information resides there as well.

My job, while you are chatting about how great your vacation is going to be, is to carry on the conversation until I can find a break in your exciting itinerary to tell you devastating news.  Do you know how hard it is to do that?!  Do you think that I take part in any joy from this? The answer is a firm, "hell no!"  I would much rather be able to rent you the vehicle rather than get told how much of a piece of shit I am.  I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! All I did was deliver a company policy statement, swiped a card and crossed my fingers it would go through because I am not a huge fan of being berated.  I didn't make an announcement on your behalf, "Hey everybody, guess who has had trouble in the past paying bills/ made a major purchase/ been in a divorce/ lost their job?" The point is, all I did was deliver the bad news I never wanted to (and I have to do it nine times a day, and I get cussed out nine times a day.)

The person regurgitating the statement, "I'm sorry that is just company policy," is really trying to say, "I hate my job, so please don't yell at me about it."  I'm on your side! Let's take this Mother F***** down, together!

Break Time!

I wanted to pause this monotonous repetition of information, on the do's and don't's of car renting, and share some very exciting news.

I recently went to Florida for spring break.  My girlfriend has been doing her internship at Disney World in Orlando. It was a great opportunity to see her as it has been at least two months since the last time I saw her.

Her older Brother and I  drove down.  We got into all the Disney parks for free. It was something I wanted to see, as I was not fortunate enough as a child to see what Disney was all about.  So it was somewhat cathartic for me.

We also went to Cocoa Beach, which was awesome, as it was the first time I have ever felt the ocean's waters. This was all good and well, but I had a big surprise for my girlfriend.  Once at the beach I retrieved the lump that had been residing in my pocket for many days, just waiting for the right moment.  And there at the beach, right in the beautiful yet frigid waters of the Atlantic Ocean, I dropped a knee and proposed to my lovely Miss Jeana.

SHE SAID YES!

That is all.

Employee Loyalty

I have people that come in and want to complain about a minute detail in the hopes that I will reimburse them.  The answer is rarely ever. The most joy I get from this is when a customer threatens their business. This means that they are going to leave now. I no longer have to sit and pretend as if I care that the car smelled like smoke, but you waited until you got back from your seven day trip to let us know. I would rather you left and went to another company, because the company I work for owns many other car rental companies. But you don't know this because you don't read. Also, if you are going to threaten your business, make sure the guy behind the counter doesn't get paid minimum wage. The guy who gets paid minimum wage doesn't care about your problems, he only cares about making his rent this month.  You're already pissed off at him, so he knows he will not be making his money off of you. He needs you out of the store so he can make money off of other people.

It is best to just leave the store and not come back quietly, because you only are making yourself look like a fool. It gives us something to talk about after you leave. We enjoy it, trust me.

Make Nice

As a salesperson I have to make sure to do my job by the book.  However, there are a few customers, that are regulars and know me by name.  These folks always get my fullest attention, and I let them know the ins and outs of the car rental business.  I will also always do the best I can to give them the better deal.  If I've got a better car on the lot, I will do my best to put them in it.  Just based on the fact that they give me respect even though my job is a menial one.  The customer that walks in with his phone glued to his ear, I will do my best to squeeze every dollar out of his inattentive ass.  I don't like "Inattentive Steve," or whatever his name is, and I will not do certain things that i could to save him money.  His rental will be much more expensive than most based on his lack of respect.  So, the message today is, make a new friend before you spend a lot of money with any company, you'll always come out on top.  When you befriend someone, they feel guilty for sticking it to you, because you're not just another person walking through the door.  It's because we (your salesperson) knows you and vice versa.

Did You Bring Protection?

Usually, when you make a pricey purchased you are asked a few questions by your salesperson.  One of these questions are, "Would you like to buy our extended protection plan?" The answer should be a firm, "No." The word "Extended" means that the product you are buying already has a manufacturer warranty.  Typically once that warranty from the manufacturer has expired the product has paid for itself, and you are likely not to have problems with it for the life of the item. 

In the world of Car Rental coverage can get tricky. Do you really need to buy coverage from your rental company. First, this goes back to research, don't get taken for a ride at the rental counter because you didn't make a simple phone call.  Call your insurance provider! Tell them you are going to rent a car and ask them if it would be covered. Ask them what kind of car would be covered, and finally ask them if they would pay for Loss Of Use and Down Time. These are crucial questions to ask your insurance agent. Renting a car can be much like playing Russian Roulette. 

STAY INFORMED! If there is any doubt about being covered while renting, purchase the rental company's coverage! If you are following the rules of the road and follow the rules of the rental company, the coverage will work strongly in your favor. Also, it can keep your premiums and deductibles from going up with your own insurance if something does happen to your rental vehicle. Overall, it comes down to a simple yet hard to answer question. Do I need the coverage? When purchasing products in a store, it is a huge waste of money. At the rental counter it could save you tons! So call your insurance provider before getting ripped off at a rental counter. Or you can help my bonus check out if you are feeling charitable.  

RESEARCH!

First and foremost, do not step foot into a retail store (or anywhere that has commissioned sales people) without first knowing what you are after.  Major purchases are a big deal for most. I really like when a customer walks in without a reservation.

This person is not going to leave the rental lot without paying double what the actual vehicle costs.  Usually i will also get this person to buy the coverage on the rental.  That means I stand to make at least $200 off this person for a three to four day rental.  This money-making opportunity is based off a lack of customer knowledge.  They don't know what the car actually costs, and we are allowed to make our own prices.  Again, this process of making money and putting the customer at a loss is because I NEED to make money or it's my job.  When a customer says that they looked up the prices online and, "That seems higher than it should be."  I tell them, "well, that is our online pricing and based on the availability this is the lowest I can offer the vehicle."  Now, sometimes this works and the person will take my price and make me a little money.  The smart customer however will leave, book the car online and come back with a smile on their face because they didn't get boned.

Browsing is a good idea, but do not ever just stroll into a store and not expect to get rolled by a salesperson.  We love the casual customer.  We watch what you drive and how you dress and can immediately tell if we are going to make a fat commission check off you.

You may be thinking to yourself... no shit, but I myself have fallen victim to this problem.  The problem of buying something without fully knowing all the product details.  Every salesperson is going to tell you that all of the products he/she sells are a good buy.  Browse the store and pick out a few models that you like, look up consumer reports on the product.  You could be surprised.  The point of this is do your research! it can stop most of us salespeople from trying to rip you off.  However we will do our best to find a way.